you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
