i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
