If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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