Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
