just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm both gender and math confused
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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