..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
