Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
