3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize