White coat. Heels.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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