That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
