Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
