I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
