She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
