Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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