you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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