Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
