I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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