I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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