I'm gonna have a badass scar
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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