the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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