We're like a lot better than the average bears
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
