And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
porn star boner night. come get it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
