Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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