i think my mom watched the whole time
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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