Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize