You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
