So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
