Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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