the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize