i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
