Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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