peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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