...so i touched it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
