wat bout pragnant strippers??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
