Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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