okay pat passed out under dana's car
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
