She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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