remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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