I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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