My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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