I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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