when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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