I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
either way he was missing a nipple.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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