she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
