you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
