I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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