Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's shark week go big or go home
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
