so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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