He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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