She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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