I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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