i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
