Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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