there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
