You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
