I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
