There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
