WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
