Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
