oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
